YouTubers Dan and Phil Reveal 16-Year Relationship: “I Felt We Had to Hide”

In an era where public figures are often expected to share every aspect of their lives, British YouTubers Dan Howell and Phil Lester—known collectively as "Dan and Phil"—have long kept the nature of their relationship ambiguous. On October 13, 2025, the duo published a video on their official YouTube channel directly addressing one of the internet’s most persistent rumors: whether they have been romantically involved. In their own words, “Are Dan and Phil in a relationship? Yes.” .

During the nearly hour-long video, Howell and Lester recounted their journey together, revealing that they “fell hard and fast in 2009” and have maintained a romantic partnership ever since. Phil Lester explained, “We never called it anything. It was so fast that we never labeled it… We just ended up living together and here we are.” . Their confirmation marks the end of more than a decade of “Phan” speculation—a portmanteau coined by fans who followed their collaborative content since the early days of YouTube.

The video delves into why the pair chose to keep their relationship private for so long. Phil Lester and Dan Howell discussed the intense scrutiny they’ve faced, from fan theories to tabloid conjecture. Howell noted, “Do we as humans have a right to privacy? That is the question.” Lester replied, “Yes, we have.” Their decision to keep the relationship private was shaped by concerns about public perception, online gossip, and the impact of homophobia. Howell referenced the broader social climate, saying, “This is a scary time. Let’s be real. It feels like things are sliding backwards… But I think that’s why it’s more important than ever that we are like, ‘Here we are. Gay. And what?’” .

Since their first collaborations in 2009, Dan and Phil have amassed millions of followers through gaming videos, challenges, and podcast appearances. Their chemistry on-screen sparked widespread speculation, leading to the “Phan” fandom that dissected every interaction for clues. The pair acknowledged this in the video, referring to the phenomenon as “one of the biggest conspiracies in the history of the internet.” . They cited instances where fans interpreted their actions—such as joint holidays, shared homes, and affectionate tweets—as evidence, while also describing their efforts to maintain ambiguity, sometimes leading to accusations of ‘queerbaiting’ by observers .

The pair’s decision to publicly affirm their relationship comes at a time when LGBTQ+ representation in media remains both critical and contested. Their story reflects a broader tension faced by queer public figures—balancing personal boundaries with the expectation of public disclosure. LGBTQ+ advocacy groups have praised their openness, noting that such visibility can provide affirmation and encouragement to transgender people, nonbinary individuals, and others who may struggle with acceptance . By sharing their story, Dan and Phil add nuance to conversations about privacy, safety, and authenticity within the LGBTQ+ community.

The response from fans has been overwhelmingly supportive, with social media flooded by messages of congratulations and gratitude. Many noted how Dan and Phil’s journey mirrors their own experiences of navigating identity, secrecy, and self-acceptance. Prominent LGBTQ+ creators and organizations echoed this sentiment, emphasizing the importance of allowing individuals to define the terms of their own visibility .

Dan and Phil’s revelation is more than a milestone for their fandom—it is a powerful reminder that LGBTQ+ people deserve agency over their stories. Their experience underscores the pressure public figures face to conform to audience expectations, while also highlighting the ongoing need for safe spaces where privacy is respected. As Dan Howell stated, “We can’t live in fear anymore. I can’t have this holding us back personally, emotionally, or from doing this.” . Their story affirms that coming out is a deeply personal process—one that should be defined by individual choice, not public demand.