New Study Reveals Why Lesbian Couples Face Higher Divorce Rates Than Gay Male and Heterosexual Couples

Lesbian couples who marry or enter registered partnerships face a substantially higher risk of divorce than their gay male or heterosexual counterparts, according to new research that explores the complex factors behind this persistent pattern. The study, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, draws on comprehensive population-level data from Finland to examine whether common relationship milestones—such as cohabitation length, having children from previous relationships, or raising children together—might explain why female same-sex couples experience higher rates of union dissolution .

The findings challenge assumptions about what strengthens relationships and underscore the importance of understanding how different couple types navigate partnership in distinct legal and social contexts.

Lead researcher Maria Elina Ponkilainen, a doctoral researcher at the University of Helsinki, examined data from 3,412 female same-sex couples, 1,892 male same-sex couples, and 457,867 different-sex couples who entered legal unions in Finland . The research team sought to understand whether certain life experiences might help explain the observed disparities in divorce rates across these groups.

"Prior studies have shown that same-sex couples, especially female couples, have a higher divorce risk than different-sex couples across several countries. However, the explanations for female couples' higher divorce risk are unclear," Ponkilainen explained .

The study's approach draws on the life course perspective, which suggests that people's earlier life experiences significantly influence their later relationship outcomes. The researchers hypothesized that examining factors such as how long couples lived together before marriage, whether they had children from previous relationships, and whether they had children together might illuminate why divorce rates differ across couple types.

One of the study's most unexpected findings concerns the role of children in relationship stability. While having a child together reduced divorce risk for both female same-sex couples and different-sex couples, this protective effect was significantly stronger among heterosexual partnerships .

The researchers had actually predicted the opposite outcome. They expected that shared parenthood might be particularly stabilizing for female couples, who often invest heavily in becoming parents through assisted reproduction and navigate additional legal and social complexities to build their families. Yet the Finnish data indicated that having a child together did not reduce the divorce risk for female couples as much as it did for different-sex couples.

This finding suggests that the mechanisms by which children affect relationship stability may operate differently across couple types, influenced by distinct social expectations, legal protections, and support systems available to different kinds of families.

The study's statistical analysis revealed that adjusting for cohabitation length, prior children, and shared children narrowed the gap in divorce risk between couple types, but only modestly. These three variables combined explained approximately one-fifth of the difference in divorce risk between female same-sex couples and different-sex couples. They accounted for roughly one-third of the difference between female and male same-sex couples .

Even after accounting for these variables, female same-sex couples remained the most likely to divorce among all partnership types studied.

Research from other countries shows similar patterns. In the Netherlands, administrative data tracking couples who married in 2010 found that approximately 26 percent of female same-sex marriages ended within roughly ten years, compared with 14 percent for male same-sex couples and 16 percent for different-sex couples . In England and Wales, nearly three-quarters of same-sex divorces in 2019 involved female couples .

In United States research supported by the National Institutes of Health, 12.3 percent of lesbian couples divorced, compared to 2 percent of gay male couples and 8.3 percent of heterosexual couples, though this data comes from a specific longitudinal study of adoptive parents followed over the first five years after placement .

Ponkilainen emphasized that the findings point to a complex interplay of factors shaping divorce risk. "The findings indicate that the risk of divorce is shaped by a complex interplay of various factors, which include both previous relationship experiences and current union characteristics," she explained. "This emphasizes how individual life trajectories contribute to the resilience and vulnerability of each union over time, and how these life trajectories may differ for female couples, male couples, and different-sex couples due to different legislative and normative contexts surrounding these unions" .

The research highlights that factors known to protect union stability in heterosexual relationships cannot be assumed to have the same impact on same-sex unions. This distinction is critical for developing appropriate support systems and interventions.

The study also underscores the significance of examining differences among same-sex couples rather than treating them as a monolithic group. "The findings also highlight the importance of studying within-group differences among same-sex couples, rather than only comparing same-sex couples to different-sex couples as a group, as there are large differences in divorce risk among same-sex couples as well," Ponkilainen noted .

Understanding these distinctions is essential for identifying couples who might be at increased risk of divorce and who could benefit from external support during their partnership, as well as in coping with possible short-term and long-term consequences of divorce.

While the study provides valuable statistical insights, researchers acknowledge that several factors contributing to divorce risk could not be captured in the administrative data. The Finnish data system does not include measures of gender identity or sexual orientation, meaning same-sex couples were identified based on legal sex rather than self-reported identities .

Additionally, the study could not measure relationship quality, reasons for union formation, or emotional commitment—factors that may vary across couple types and significantly influence decisions about marriage and relationship continuation.

Several theories have been proposed to explain higher divorce rates among lesbian couples. Research suggests that emotional expectations may play a role, as women often have higher emotional expectations in relationships, which can lead to dissatisfaction if unmet . Societal pressures and discrimination may also add unique stress to lesbian relationships, while parenting challenges associated with having children can strain partnerships.

The study's findings are based on the Finnish context, where same-sex couples have had access to legal registered partnerships since 2002 and full marriage equality since 2017. Finland also has relatively liberal family laws and a high degree of social acceptance of nontraditional family forms .

"The results are based on the Finnish context, and I would be cautious about generalizing them to other countries," Ponkilainen cautioned. "The legal and normative context in each country affects same-sex couples' opportunities to enter marriage and have children, and it may also impact their union stability and risk of divorce" .

This caveat is important because the legal landscape, social acceptance, and available support systems for same-sex couples vary dramatically across countries and even within regions of the same country.

The research has significant implications for how support services and policies are developed for same-sex couples. Evidence suggests that early, skills-focused counseling can help, particularly when delivered by LGBTQ-affirming clinicians who can adapt communication training and conflict-repair strategies to address minority stress and family-of-origin dynamics .

For couples planning children or navigating adoption, structured co-parenting agreements may reduce ambiguity during intense early parenting years that research has identified as a particular risk period. Financial planning and legal preparation—including budgeting for potential worst-case scenarios, updating beneficiary information, and establishing wills—can reduce pressure points that might spill into the relationship during times of stress .

Tailored counseling services that address the specific dynamics of lesbian relationships are essential, including therapy options that foster open communication and resilience in the face of unique challenges. Improved social acceptance and community support programs may also alleviate some of the external pressures contributing to relationship stress.

As same-sex marriage continues to gain legal recognition globally, understanding the unique factors affecting relationship stability becomes increasingly important. This research represents a significant step forward in moving beyond simply documenting divorce rate differences to exploring why these differences exist.

The study's findings remind us that supporting diverse families requires understanding their distinct needs rather than assuming that one-size-fits-all approaches will be equally effective across all relationship types. As Ponkilainen's research demonstrates, the path to stronger, more resilient partnerships may look different for female same-sex couples, male same-sex couples, and heterosexual couples—and effective support systems must account for these differences.

For lesbian couples navigating marriage and partnership, these findings offer validation that the challenges they face are real and shaped by complex social, legal, and personal factors. The research also provides hope that with better understanding and more tailored support, the unique strengths of these relationships can be fostered while addressing the specific vulnerabilities they face.